Adoption Poem

Hi!
Here is a poem about adoption I thought you’d enjoy.

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women…Who never knew each other…
One you do not remember…The other you call Mother…
Two different lives…Shaped to make you one…
One became your guiding star…The other became your sun…
The first one gave you life…The second taught you to live it…
The first gave you a need for love…The second was there to give it…
One gave you a nationality…The other gave you a name…
One gave you talent…The other gave you aim…
One gave you emotion…The other calmed your fears…
One saw your first sweet smile…The other dried your tears…
One sought for you a home…That she could not provide…
The other prayed for a child…And her hope was not denied…
And now you ask me through your tears…
The age-old question unanswered through the years…
Heredity or environment…Which are you a product of?…
Neither my darling, neither…Just two different kinds of Love…

… Author Unknown …

Want to see some great books on Adoption that I recommend?
http://www.everythingforadoption.com/best-adoption-books.asp

Have a great day!
Debbie Mumm
The Adoption Coach
http://www.everythingforadoption.com

10 Safe & Not too Spooky Halloween Activities

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Halloween Greetings!
Here is a terrific article that offers 10 Safe and Fun Halloween Activities for the whole family. As a mom of 5 kids I have always looked for simple ways to make Halloween fun and not just a ‘Sugar-loaded Holiday’.

Enjoy!

Too Cute To Spook: 10 Not So Scary Halloween Activities
by Dr. Caron B Goode, NCC

For many young children, this Halloween will be the first time they see a tombstone on a lawn, a skeleton hanging from a tree, and people they are familiar with, appearing to be someone they are not.
Young children have a difficult time distinguishing between what’s real and what’s not. In fact, until children reach the age of 5, the boundaries between reality and fantasy often remain blurred. They may believe the ghosts and ghouls are going to “get them” or that the walking mummy wondering around the neighborhood is “real.” It’s this reason that some children, especially sensitive ones, may find October 31 to be scarier than it is fun.
If you’re a parent of a child pre-school aged child or younger, consider shifting to a not so scary celebration this Halloween. From less spooky costumes to kid friendly arts and crafts, the little ones can have Halloween fun, without the fright.
Try incorporating some of these 10 Not So Scary Halloween activities into your holiday celebration. They’re guaranteed to rate high on fun and low on fright.

1. Donuts on a String. Hang small, powdered donuts from a piece of heavy string. Fasten each strung donut to a long line of string. Have an adult hold each end of the line level with the children’s mouths. Encourage the children to try to eat the donut using no hands. Older children may enjoy this activity while wearing a blindfold. If children become frustrated, the donut can be moved to a plate to make eating it hands free easier.

2. Pin the nose on the pumpkin. Create a large pumpkin from orange poster board. Add the eyes and mouth using a black marker. Cut out triangles from black poster board, place double sided tape on the back and hand them out to the children. Let each child have a turn sticking the nose on the pumpkin. While younger children may simply enjoy adding the missing piece to the pumpkins face, older children may enjoy this activity while wearing a blindfold.

3. Decorate Halloween cookies. Bake sugar cookies in the shape of pumpkins. Provide frosting and sprinkles for the children to decorate their own cookie. This is a fun project that doubles as a festive treat. Children can decorate additional cookies, place them in a cellophane bag, tie them closed with ribbon and give them out as special gifts to family and friends.

4. Visit a farm. Consider incorporating the fall harvest theme into your not so scary celebration. Many farms have pumpkin patches for children to select their own pumpkins. Some even have petting zoos, hay rides, train rides and more. The natural and often colorful scenery at most farms makes the perfect backdrop for fall family photos.

5. Decorate pumpkins. While younger children may be too young to carve a pumpkin, they can certainly color, paint and add embellishments like stickers and sparkles. Yarn can be glued on for hair and felt can be used to create hats or other accessories.

6. Host a not so scary Halloween party. Incorporate games like Duck, Duck Pumpkin, read age appropriate Halloween themed books and decorate and snack on pumpkin shaped sugar cookies. Make costumes optional.

7. Hide the pumpkins. Cut out small pumpkins from orange poster board and decorate with black marker. Hide the pumpkins outdoors. Give each child a small bucket to collect all the pumpkins she can find. Give each child a turn at hiding the pumpkins.

8. Attend an alternate Halloween event. Many churches and community centers host free harvest celebrations geared towards the families in their communities. They often have games, activities, food and candy for kids of all ages to enjoy.

9. Organize a neighborhood trunk or treat. Create a theme and invite people you know to decorate their car trunks. Invite everyone over at a set time to park their cars in your driveway. Have the children go from trunk to trunk to collect individually wrapped candy. This allows you to have control over who your child collects candy from and what type of Halloween décor your child is exposed to. Another creative spin on this is to have family members decorate their bedroom doors and hand out candy to each other.

10. Create your own costumes. With a little non-toxic face paint, a bin of dress up clothes and a lot of creativity, you children can create a costume that perfectly suits their personality and level of spookiness they’re comfortable with. Have a parade and award prizes for different costumes. You can give prizes for the most colorful costume, the costume with the most sparkle and more to be sure that all children are recognized for the hard work they put into their costume selection and design.
With some careful thought, a little creativity and advance planning, you can create an age-appropriate Halloween celebration that your child can truly enjoy.

Dr. Caron Goode is a well-respected leader in the parent coaching industry as the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents International (www.academyforcoachingparents.com) that trains students in the empowerment model of parent coaching, Dr. Goode has shared her holistic approach to achieving parenting success and managing family relationships in magazines, newspapers and radio. Her most recent books include The Art and Science of Coaching Parents and award-winning Raising Intuitive Children. (www.raisingintuitivechildren)

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach
http://www.everythingforadoption.com

Movie Review–Where the Wild Things Are…(Avoid!)

Greetings…

This weekend my husband, his sister, our youngest, Alex and myself, went to MO to visit son, Kellen. He attends Univ. of Mo or Mizzou as most call it there. We didn’t have tickets to the football game so I took Alex to go see Where the Wild Things Are, while Dennis and sister watched the game on TV. Alex was quite excited about seeing this movie. Who can believe that someone took a 12 page book with about 6 sentences and made a full length movie of it? When it was over I was surprised when I asked him what he thought of it. His words, “It was random.” I couldn’t have explained it better myself.

The story starts with a pretty cute boy about 10 who has problems with his sister and her friends. The story skips around but when his mom makes him upset one night, he bites her. She yells at him and he takes off down the dark street screaming and yelling like he had gone mad. He then jumps into a sailboat and heads out into the dark, stormy night. He crash lands onto an island with these strange monster characters. To make a long story short, they appoint him to be the new king of the island. He doesn’t get along much better with these creatures than he did with his human family. There is a lot of screaming and running throughout the movie. At one point he decides to create peace on the island they need a war. They all start hitting each other with clots of dirt. This makes the boy quite happy. Hmm….did I say this movie was ‘random’?

When he leaves the island it is apparent the monsters all like him and the leader monster shows this by howlling…and the boy howls back. I was ready to leave the theatre many times but hoped the movie would improve. It just got more and more confusing. It was loud and was filled with mixed messages. When I left my head was swimming with all the noises and confusion the movie had brought.

Alex is 10 and not one to say he didn’t like a movie. At first he said it was good but once we started talking about it he told me he thought it was RANDOM. I’d have to agree as it never made sense and showed a lot of unsafe things kids could do. Biting others, yelling and screaming when angry and not stopping, running away and generally, not making safe choices….all things I try to get my children to think about.

So….Out of 5 stars, I give it ONE STAR.
I’d avoid taking kids to this movie and won’t even recommend it as a rental.
Just this mom’s opinion…and my 10 yr. old son’s.

Debbie Mumm, The Adoption Coach
Everything for Adoption

Adoption Grant Application due!

http://www.Helpusadopt.org — Adoption Grants! Grant Applications are due 10.16.09 and they will be awarding $50,000 in grants on December 1st!!!!!
Forward this to anyone you know looking for money for a special adoption of a child. Applications are due Oct. 16th, 2009.
Thanks.

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach
http://www.everythingforadoption.com

How Important is Language? The Bus Story!

I’ve been writing this blog for years now and don’t think I ever shared ‘The Bus Story’. It is a true lesson in understanding how important ‘words’ can be.
Alex was adopted from Russia at age 5 1/2. He came home to us in late July. By mid-Aug. he was off to kindergarten. I remember the first day, introducing myself and Alex to the bus driver. I told her he didn’t speak a word of English but that I could get a translator to talk with Alex if anything needed to be explained to him. Little did I know how many times we’d be talking with our translator friend that week.
At the end of Day 1, I picked up Alex at the bus. The bus driver appeared to be a bit ‘frazzled’. She had to pull the bus over 3 times since Alex kept running up and down the aisle of the bus. I apologized and said we’d go right home and talk with Karina, our friend who speaks Russian. Karina promptly told Alex that he was not to walk or run in the bus….and that he must stay in his seat.
Day 2…When I picked up Alex from the bus stop the bus driver then told me that he did not get out of his seat but he was standing and jumping in his seat…not sitting! Again we made the phone call to Karina who told him he must SIT in the seat of the bus.
Day 3…The bus driver now claimed Alex sat in his seat but was swinging his backpack around hitting other children. Parents at the bus stop were looking at me like I had a monkey for a child and that I must not have any control what so ever with this kid. (I had only had Alex for one month and couldn’t speak his language! Give me a break, ok?)
After our friend covered every bus rule she could think of with Alex…and was quite specific with her words, things improved. The bus was never a place where Alex was on his best behavior and it was a struggle for quite awhile for him to be good there. We did all types of positive reinforcement, which usually worked for awhile. However, since Alex did have some learning issues with reading and math, mostly due to language skills, the bus turned out the place to be to let out his frustrations.
Now that he rides to school with friends and doesn’t take a bus, I have almost forgotten the early days and our daily bus routine!

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach
Everything for Adoption

Fall 2005 011

Great story about Russian Adoption

I had one of my readers send her story of adopting a 2 yr. old Russian boy. It’s a great heartwarming story.

She commented to me that the orphanages are filled with children and most of them are healthy. It’s a shame people are afraid to adopt because of the fear of getting an unhealthy child. Yet we have no control of having a healthy child biologically either.

Here’s the story. Let me know what you think!

Adopting from Russia

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach
Everything for Adoption

Another Sister….

Engaged!

Engaged!


Greetings….
Well, this has been an exciting week! Last Friday, our son Travis, told us he was going to ask his girlfriend, Katie, to marry him. We were thrilled as we love Katie. They are both 24 and have been dating since high school. He then asked us if we’d help him set up the event to surprise her. He had it pretty well planned out how he wanted to do it.
It was difficult keeping it a secret for a week. I only told people who don’t know Travis or his friends well. I did make a comment about being excited on Facebook, but it was pretty generic so most people were curious but didn’t know what was going to happen.
Last night we headed to Katie’s family home to decorate their back yard and deck. Travis and I had gone through our white Christmas lights to check them the night before, but as Christmas lights are known for, a few went out right after we strung them around the deck. We hung up lots of white lights, put lights and flowers on the archway leading to the yard, and then little candles & rose petals along the path leading to where my son would be standing.
It looked great. Travis waited on the deck for 20 min. waiting for Katie to arrive. Katie’s parents, my other son and his fiance, and us waited in the living room for her to arrive. We could hear their favorite song, ‘Then’ by Brad Paisley in the background.
When Katie pulled up she was shocked to see all the lights. (By then it was dark and the lights and candles were quite dramatic.) When she turned the corner to look at the deck she saw Travis up there with 3 red roses in his hands. She screamed! Of course, by then we had snuck to the front hallway so we could at least catch a glimpse of what was going on.
Travis gave her the 3 roses, one for the past, one for the present and then the one for the future was attached to a string leading to his pocket with the ring in it. Katie screamed again…and then hugging and kissing…
She ran inside the house when she heard we were all there and we gave her hugs and congratulations. Travis looked so happy…and relieved that everything went without a hitch. It was a beautiful memory for all of us.
Today, after Alex woke up, I told him where we had been last night and what Travis had done. He was so excited! “Travis is getting married to Katie? Yes…another sister!”
Now it appears we will have 2 weddings in this family in 2010…it’ll be a busy year. It’ll be great! I couldn’t have picked out better daughter-in-laws if I had done it myself.

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach
Everything for Adoption

But…is there a mirror?

A funny thing occurred when getting ready for the kids to leave to Sun Valley with my sister. My sister moved into a new apartment just days before coming to Chicago. Needless to say, everything is still in boxes. I was telling Tania, 15, that she should try to help as much as possible with unloading boxes. I then reminded her that her TV had not been hooked up. She said that’d be ok. I then said that the computer was still in a box and no internet was set up. She looked a bit more shocked but said it would be ok.
She suddenly turned to me and asked, “But, is there a mirror?”
I had to laugh because Tania does spend about half the day looking into a mirror to adjust her hair or makeup. THIS was priority!
When I mentioned that most bathrooms have medicine cabinets with mirrors she then relaxed and claimed it’d be ok to go to Sun Valley now.

Ah….teenage girls! It was TOO funny!

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach
Everything for Adoption

Kids Leave for Sun Valley

My sister, bless her soul, offered to take Tania and Alex back to Sun Valley, ID. this week after spending time here in Chicago. Both kids were quite excited to have the time with her and to see another part of America.
Tania finished her Driver’s Ed course and was excited about that. She and her friends have been driving me crazy so a week of quiet will be very welcomed around here.
Alex was a bit nervous to think that he and his sister will have to fly back to Chicago alone next week, but we assured him it’d be easy.

They both hugged and kissed us at the airport. They both said they’d miss us, but they looked excited to be heading off to an adventure with their Aunt Peggy. (Aunt Peggy may find this an adventure of a different kind. Ha!)
So…after 5 years of having these 2 kids in our lives, it is the first time they will both be gone at the same time. I’ll let you know how I do!
Oh, Kellen, our 19 yr. old did return home this week from college but has to go back on Friday. So we have a little alone time with him, without competition of younger siblings…when he is home, that is! Seems to be off with friends a lot.

Until next time…
Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach
http://www.everythingforadoption.com
Alex and Tania

Should we Re-Adopt?

Our two kids were adopted from Russia in 2004. Their birth certificates are currently in Russian attached to an English translation copy. So far, we haven’t been inconvenienced enough to go through the re-adoption process.
To re-adopt your kids in the states costs around $800 a piece (at least in IL) but it gives you a valid American birth certificate.
Some people claim it makes things much easier to have the English copy but I just haven’t seen a big need for it yet.
Tania even applied for her driver’s permit and they loved the Russian birth certificate. The guy registering her gave her lots of extra attention and she loved it. I was glad I had her citizenship paper (in English and with a photo of her on it)…as that helped ’seal the deal’.

Your opinion on Re-Adoption???

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach
Everything for Adoption