Ethiopian Adoption–is it right for you?

Ethiopia

I just got an email from the director of Int’l Family Services, who does a lot of adoptions in Ethiopia. Here it is—

We have 8 little ones from Ethiopia going home soon. This program is amazing!!!! BUT WE NEED FAMILIES, even for infants!!!!! We have received word that many on our waiting list will have referrals any day, which is very exciting for all of us! But wow, it almost clears out our list completely! HELP! How do we let people know that these kids are so beautiful and so in need of loving homes? Please spread the word.

We continue to have a huge list of WAITING CHILDREN and we are still looking for a family for the 4 year old boy triplets!!! Anyone want half a basketball team?

Here is the description of the Ethiopian program — http://www.everythingforadoption.com/ethiopian-adoption.asp Please pass this onto anyone interested. Thanks!

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach…..
http://www.everythingforadoption.com/ethiopian-adoption.asp

Siberian Kitten adjusts to Family Life here–

Nikita

Greetings!
The first night home, our kitten, now named Nikita (Russian for Unconquerable), cried most of the night. It was his first night away from his mama and other kittens. Each day has gotten better. He plays a lot and follows us around.
He must be getting comfortable here as he was getting into a lot of mischief today. He somehow turned on my copier in the office. He jumped into the dishwasher, the closet and is constantly tackling my feet. He sits right behind me in my office chair so I can’t lean back. He’s doing it right now even. When he purrs he sounds like a small motor engine. He is very cute so I have to remember to be stearn when I scold him for things. We hope to train him not to scratch on the furniture and jump onto counters. I’ve been told he is smart and can learn this, so I will work on it.
Alex and Tania each have taken turns sleeping at night with him. Alex is very protective of him and can hardly eat a meal unless he knows what Nikita is doing and is safe. He has thanked me multiple times, saying “Thank you Mom for letting us get this cat. I’ve never had a cat before. I love him!” The teacher claimed she has seen him kiss the kittens picture he keeps in his desk at school! Funny, huh?
Even Travis, our grown up son, has been caught playing with Nikita. I even saw the kitten asleep on his lap while he watched sports. He is bringing his fiance over tonight to meet the kitten. She isn’t much of a cat lover either, but I can’t see how people would not think Nikita is cute. He really is! He is going to be HUGE though…already the size of a small cat and he’s only 12 weeks old.
Dennis has had no allergy symptoms. That’s what makes a Siberian cat so special!

That’s all for now!
Have a great day….

Debbie Mumm, The Adoption Coach
www.everythingforadoption.com

Adopting a Russian Siberian Kitten! We need a Name…

Our Kitten—Cream one!

[gallery]Well…we adopted Russian Siberian kids 5 years ago, so why not adopt a Russian Siberian kitten? I discovered this breed of cat online a few months ago when I googled in ‘hypoallergenic cats’. My husband is VERY allergic to cats but this breed, because the dander is different than a regular cat, causes less allergy reactions. We found a breeder about an hour and a half away who suggested we come sit with her cat to see if Dennis truly was not allergic to it. We spent an hour with the cat and not a single reaction.
Now, we have always been a dog family. My older boys think they hate cats. But dogs require a lot of attention. Cats are far more independent. We can come home late or be gone a day and the cat will be fine. Not with a dog.
I really feel Tania and Alex will benefit from taking care of an animal–being responsible for his care. I know I’ll probably do most of the work, but both kids want a pet to love. So we put our name on the waiting list for a kitten.
We were told it’d be late spring or mid summer before our name came up to take a kitten. But as luck would have it, the breeders male cat had some fun with the females in the house and they had some surprise litters of kittens. We got the email last week as to whether we were ready to take a male kitten. He sure is cute! I’ve been told he is twice the size of his sisters in the same litter. He will be huge…probably around 17 lbs. or so at full grown.
These are supposed to be a smart breed, very playful and loving. I’ve told my older boys he is a catdog…since he will be bigger than our dog Bo, who passed away last year.
So…Husband would like a Russian name and daughter would like a cute name. Alex doesn’t seem to care…just wants him home with us. We pick him up on Tues. So…have any ideas on good cat names? Please share.

There are some photos of him above…he’s the cream colored kitten.
Debbie Mumm, The Adoption Coach
http://www.everythingforadoption.com

Find Your Family–New TV Show

I have mixed feelings about this new TV reality show, ‘Find Your Family’. Here is the Press Release explaining the theme of the show. Press Release

My daughter has expressed interest in seeing her birthparents again someday in Russia. We cannot afford this endeavor right now and frankly, I think she’d be very disappointed with the outcome. Reuniting with birthparents can sound exciting and heartwarming. But what if the parents are not happy to see their child again? What if the parents are living a desperate, poor life and are ill with alcoholism? This would not paint a pretty reunion picture. Maybe it’s better to have nicer thoughts of your birthparents, even if it’s not reality. What if an adoptive child decides to look for their birth parents and learns they don’t want to be found? What if one child in a family finds his/her birthfamily and has a happy reunion while another child learns they were abandoned with no hope of finding their birth family? (This is more common in an Int’l Adoption.) It’s that ‘rejection’ theme that comes back to haunt them.

Of course, there are birthparents out there that might bring happiness to their birth child by reuniting. I don’t want to second guess everything the adoptive parents did to raise this child though. I hope this TV show addresses the adoptive parents and family in a positive manner. Creating happy moments on TV are great but not at the expense of a family. If handled appropriately this show can be a wonderful message about the joys of adoption and of parenthood…on both sides of Adoption.

What are your thoughts about this type of reality show and it’s possible effects on adoptive families and adopted children?

Deborah Mumm
The Adoption Coach
Everything for Adoption

Another Sister….

Engaged!

Greetings….
Well, this has been an exciting week! Last Friday, our son Travis, told us he was going to ask his girlfriend, Katie, to marry him. We were thrilled as we love Katie. They are both 24 and have been dating since high school. He then asked us if we’d help him set up the event to surprise her. He had it pretty well planned out how he wanted to do it.
It was difficult keeping it a secret for a week. I only told people who don’t know Travis or his friends well. I did make a comment about being excited on Facebook, but it was pretty generic so most people were curious but didn’t know what was going to happen.
Last night we headed to Katie’s family home to decorate their back yard and deck. Travis and I had gone through our white Christmas lights to check them the night before, but as Christmas lights are known for, a few went out right after we strung them around the deck. We hung up lots of white lights, put lights and flowers on the archway leading to the yard, and then little candles & rose petals along the path leading to where my son would be standing.
It looked great. Travis waited on the deck for 20 min. waiting for Katie to arrive. Katie’s parents, my other son and his fiance, and us waited in the living room for her to arrive. We could hear their favorite song, ‘Then’ by Brad Paisley in the background.
When Katie pulled up she was shocked to see all the lights. (By then it was dark and the lights and candles were quite dramatic.) When she turned the corner to look at the deck she saw Travis up there with 3 red roses in his hands. She screamed! Of course, by then we had snuck to the front hallway so we could at least catch a glimpse of what was going on.
Travis gave her the 3 roses, one for the past, one for the present and then the one for the future was attached to a string leading to his pocket with the ring in it. Katie screamed again…and then hugging and kissing…
She ran inside the house when she heard we were all there and we gave her hugs and congratulations. Travis looked so happy…and relieved that everything went without a hitch. It was a beautiful memory for all of us.
Today, after Alex woke up, I told him where we had been last night and what Travis had done. He was so excited! “Travis is getting married to Katie? Yes…another sister!”
Now it appears we will have 2 weddings in this family in 2010…it’ll be a busy year. It’ll be great! I couldn’t have picked out better daughter-in-laws if I had done it myself.

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach
Everything for Adoption

How Important is Language? The Bus Story!

I’ve been writing this blog for years now and don’t think I ever shared ‘The Bus Story’. It is a true lesson in understanding how important ‘words’ can be.
Alex was adopted from Russia at age 5 1/2. He came home to us in late July. By mid-Aug. he was off to kindergarten. I remember the first day, introducing myself and Alex to the bus driver. I told her he didn’t speak a word of English but that I could get a translator to talk with Alex if anything needed to be explained to him. Little did I know how many times we’d be talking with our translator friend that week.
At the end of Day 1, I picked up Alex at the bus. The bus driver appeared to be a bit ‘frazzled’. She had to pull the bus over 3 times since Alex kept running up and down the aisle of the bus. I apologized and said we’d go right home and talk with Karina, our friend who speaks Russian. Karina promptly told Alex that he was not to walk or run in the bus….and that he must stay in his seat.
Day 2…When I picked up Alex from the bus stop the bus driver then told me that he did not get out of his seat but he was standing and jumping in his seat…not sitting! Again we made the phone call to Karina who told him he must SIT in the seat of the bus.
Day 3…The bus driver now claimed Alex sat in his seat but was swinging his backpack around hitting other children. Parents at the bus stop were looking at me like I had a monkey for a child and that I must not have any control what so ever with this kid. (I had only had Alex for one month and couldn’t speak his language! Give me a break, ok?)
After our friend covered every bus rule she could think of with Alex…and was quite specific with her words, things improved. The bus was never a place where Alex was on his best behavior and it was a struggle for quite awhile for him to be good there. We did all types of positive reinforcement, which usually worked for awhile. However, since Alex did have some learning issues with reading and math, mostly due to language skills, the bus turned out the place to be to let out his frustrations.
Now that he rides to school with friends and doesn’t take a bus, I have almost forgotten the early days and our daily bus routine!

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach
Everything for Adoption

How a Few Bucks can Change a Life–

The Rose

I love this story told by Jim Rohn, one of my favorite motivational speakers of all time! Moral…it’s not how much you spend, but the act of kindness that matters! Read on…it’s great!

The Rose by Jim Rohn

Lifestyle is style over amount. And style is an art—the art of living. You can’t buy style with money. You can’t buy good taste with money. You can only buy more with money. Lifestyle is culture—the appreciation of good music, dance, art, sculpture, literature, plays and the art of living well. It’s a taste for the fine, the unique, the beautiful.

Lifestyle also means rewarding excellence wherever you find it by not taking the small things of life for granted. With Valentine’s Day approaching I wanted to illustrate this with a personal anecdote:

Many years ago my lady friend and I were on a trip to Carmel, California, for some shopping and exploring. On the way we stopped at a service station. As soon as we parked our car in front of the pumps, a young man, about eighteen or nineteen, came bouncing out to the car and with a big smile said, “Can I help you?”

“Yes,” I answered. “A full tank of gas, please.” I wasn’t prepared for what followed. In this day and age of self-service and deteriorating customer treatment, this young man checked every tire, washed every window—even the sunroof—singing and whistling the whole time. We couldn’t believe both the quality of service and his upbeat attitude about his work.

When he brought the bill, I said to the young man, “Hey, you really have taken good care of us. I appreciate it.”

He replied, “I really enjoy working. It’s fun for me and I get to meet nice people like you.”

This kid was really something!

I said, “We’re on our way to Carmel and we want to get some milkshakes. Can you tell us where we can find the nearest Baskin-Robbins?”

“Baskin-Robbins is just a few blocks away,” he said as he gave us exact directions. Then he added, “Don’t park out front—park around to the side so your car won’t get sideswiped.”

What a kid!

As we got to the ice cream store we ordered milkshakes, except that instead of two, we ordered three. Then we drove back to the station. Our young friend dashed out to greet us. “Hey, I see you got your milkshakes.”

“Yes, and this one is for you!”

His mouth fell open. “For me?”

“Sure. With all the fantastic service you gave us, I couldn’t leave you out of the milkshake deal.”

“Wow!” was his astonished reply.

As we drove off I could see him in my rear-view mirror just standing there, grinning from ear to ear.

Now, what did this little act of generosity cost me? Only about two dollars – you see, it’s not the money, it’s the style.

Well, I must have been feeling especially creative that day, so upon our arrival in Carmel I drove directly to a flower shop. As we walked inside I said to the florist, “I need a long-stemmed rose for my lady to carry while we go shopping in Carmel.”

The florist, a rather unromantic type, replied, “We sell them by the dozen.”

“I don’t need a dozen,” I said, “just one.”

“Well,” he replied haughtily, “it will cost you two dollars.”

“Wonderful,” I exclaimed. “There’s nothing worse than a cheap rose.”

Selecting the rose with some deliberation, I handed it to my friend. She was so impressed! And the cost? Two dollars. Just two dollars. A bit later she looked up and said, “Jim, I must be the only woman in Carmel today carrying a rose.” And I believe she probably was.

Can you imagine the opportunity to create magic with those around you, and all for the cost of a few dollars, some imagination and care. Remember, it is not the amount that matters but the thought and care that often has the greatest impact upon those you love.

Think about this as Valentine’s Day approaches….

To read previous articles and quotes from the Jim Rohn Weekly Newsletter Archives; to get a complete listing of Jim Rohn’s books, audios, videos and seminar schedule; or to place an order, visit: http://www.JimRohn.com or call 800-929-0434, Monday through Friday, 8:00 a.m. – 5:30 p.m. CST.

Debbie Mumm, The Adoption Coach
http://www.everythingforadoption.com

Christmas Miracles?

Greetings!

I love this time of year…with the festive lights all over town to the snow on the ground. People seem more eager to wish you a ‘Merry Christmas’ or ‘Happy Holiday’ instead of saying nothing. I realize it isn’t a happy time of year to those who are struggling with poverty, loss of a job or don’t have a family to enjoy the holiday with.

My family was all here and I loved having everyone in my kitchen on Christmas. We laughed, played games and just enjoyed each other. We were on a tighter budget this year so we emphasized to the kids that Christmas is mostly about spending time with the family and not just getting presents. All in all, everyone seemed ok with everything.

We love to look for good things that happen this time of year and like to call them ‘Christmas Miracles’. I know that all things happen for a reason, but most of the time we don’t take the time to really think about it. So this Christmas we had fun noting which things were ‘Christmas Miracles’ in our home.

1) We got my parents moved from their home of almost 25 years into a small retirement apartment….at Christmas time! Definitely a Christmas Miracle!
2) My sister, who insisted this Christmas she would not fight all those holiday travelers and just stay in ID for the holidays, decided 2 days before Christmas to come to Chicago to spend Christmas with the family. A Christmas Miracle!
3) My sister-in-law and I took advantage of some quiet time to go see the movie, ‘It’s Complicated!’. We came out of the theatre to see the car covered in snow. I opened the car, threw in my purse, turned on the car and began scraping windows. Then I realized I had locked us out of the car! We had already called AAA for help when a friend from one of my networking groups came out of the theatre. He took us home to get an extra key. Another Christmas miracle!
4) We all had fun with Alex…looking for Santa in the sky on Christmas Eve and putting out cookies and eggnog for Santa. Even my grown up boys delighted in his enthusiasm, making it fun for all of us. A Christmas miracle!
I could go on…but I think we should be looking for the ‘miracles’ that happen every day around us.
So this year– in 2010–let’s try to appreciate the little things more and expect less. Good will come to those who wait!

Happy New Year!

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach
http://www.everythingforadoption.com

Is there a Santa?

Greetings!

Well..it’s the question all parents know is coming. We hope we can say the right thing when we hear the words, “Mom, is there really a Santa?” Out of the blue, on the way home from school in the car, Alex asked the question. Since he is my 5th child asking this question I knew it was best to throw it back to him. So I said, ” Well, what do you think?”
He replied, “Well, I think there has to be a Santa. But I have friends who don’t think he’s real. And you know what? Once you stop believing in Santa your parents have to start getting you presents.”
I stayed pretty quiet but added, “Oh, I heard that is what happens”
He then stopped and sighed. Then he said, “But you know Mom, I really think I am getting too big to sit on Santa’s lap.”
I said, “That’s ok, we don’t have to go see him this year.”
“Well”, he said, “then how will he know what I want?”
I replied, “We could write him a letter this year.”
In typical Alex fashion his eyes got large and he practically shouted in excitement, “Wow! You can do that?”
“Sure!”, I said.
“Ok….let’s write him a letter!” He seemed content and settled back into the back seat of the car. And immediately he was onto another topic to talk about. Typical kid.
So we may get another year our of our last Santa believing kid. But Alex wasn’t even introduced to a Santa until he was almost 6 since Santa doesn’t come to Russian orphanages…or any other orphanage that I know of. So we’ll let him hang onto the fun of it all. I think it is almost more fun for my older kids to have this excitement still alive in our house at the holidays.

And…if you need to track Santa Claus as he makes his rounds on Christmas Eve be sure and check out this site–http://www.noradsanta.org
Enjoy the magic of Christmas!

Deborah Mumm

http://www.everythingforadoption.com

National Adoption Month–November

Well, it’s National Adoption Month. It is a time to publicize adoption and to recognize it as a way to build a family. Have you heard much about adoption this month. I don’t think I have. A new movie is coming out next week called ‘Blindside’ with Sandra Bullock and looks to be a good movie about foster care and adoption. I’ll let you know as I know I plan on seeing it.
I think most people know what adoption is but would rather not like to talk about it too much. It makes people uncomfortable to hear about children living in foster care or orphanages. But the truth is, we need to talk about it and we need to talk about it a LOT. It’s that out of sight, out of mind way of thinking. Maybe if we don’t talk about it, it’ll go away…or someone else will handle it.
In reality, there are about 60 million children living in foster care or in orphanages around the world. They are the future of this world. These are kids who grow up without a family or knowing what it’s like to be loved and cared for unconditionally. How will they know how to parent their children, how to handle conflicts or feel compassion towards others? It’s difficult when your life is a series of rejections.
Am I glad there is a month designated to remind us of the children who need families? Does it bring more people towards considering adopting a child to add to their family? I am not so sure. If half the families in the world took in one child who needed a family, there would be no children living in foster care or orphanages.
Most people feel they couldn’t handle someone else’s child or take on the risks of another child. There is a lot of fear surrounding foster care and orphans. I think people still consider such children as ‘damaged goods’ and don’t want to take that chance.
So…Happy National Adoption Month! Learn more about orphans with a weekly email on the latest stats and info on orphans around the world at… http://www.adoptionhighway.com . Learn more about Foster care and Domestic adoption at http://www.adoption.com . And, thank those families who are helping children by being foster parents…or famillies who have adopted children. It is not an easy task but they took the challenge.
We adopted children and we have been rewarded with their hugs and love. Every achievement they have holds strong meanings for us. We helped them to change their lives for the better.
Who will help all the other children waiting for families? They still wait….

Deborah Mumm
The Adoption Coach
http://www.everythingforadoption.com

Adoption Poem

Hi!
Here is a poem about adoption I thought you’d enjoy.

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women…Who never knew each other…
One you do not remember…The other you call Mother…
Two different lives…Shaped to make you one…
One became your guiding star…The other became your sun…
The first one gave you life…The second taught you to live it…
The first gave you a need for love…The second was there to give it…
One gave you a nationality…The other gave you a name…
One gave you talent…The other gave you aim…
One gave you emotion…The other calmed your fears…
One saw your first sweet smile…The other dried your tears…
One sought for you a home…That she could not provide…
The other prayed for a child…And her hope was not denied…
And now you ask me through your tears…
The age-old question unanswered through the years…
Heredity or environment…Which are you a product of?…
Neither my darling, neither…Just two different kinds of Love…

… Author Unknown …

Want to see some great books on Adoption that I recommend?
http://www.everythingforadoption.com/best-adoption-books.asp

Have a great day!
Debbie Mumm
The Adoption Coach
http://www.everythingforadoption.com

10 Safe & Not too Spooky Halloween Activities

Halloween Greetings!
Here is a terrific article that offers 10 Safe and Fun Halloween Activities for the whole family. As a mom of 5 kids I have always looked for simple ways to make Halloween fun and not just a ‘Sugar-loaded Holiday’.

Enjoy!

Too Cute To Spook: 10 Not So Scary Halloween Activities
by Dr. Caron B Goode, NCC

For many young children, this Halloween will be the first time they see a tombstone on a lawn, a skeleton hanging from a tree, and people they are familiar with, appearing to be someone they are not.
Young children have a difficult time distinguishing between what’s real and what’s not. In fact, until children reach the age of 5, the boundaries between reality and fantasy often remain blurred. They may believe the ghosts and ghouls are going to “get them” or that the walking mummy wondering around the neighborhood is “real.” It’s this reason that some children, especially sensitive ones, may find October 31 to be scarier than it is fun.
If you’re a parent of a child pre-school aged child or younger, consider shifting to a not so scary celebration this Halloween. From less spooky costumes to kid friendly arts and crafts, the little ones can have Halloween fun, without the fright.
Try incorporating some of these 10 Not So Scary Halloween activities into your holiday celebration. They’re guaranteed to rate high on fun and low on fright.

1. Donuts on a String. Hang small, powdered donuts from a piece of heavy string. Fasten each strung donut to a long line of string. Have an adult hold each end of the line level with the children’s mouths. Encourage the children to try to eat the donut using no hands. Older children may enjoy this activity while wearing a blindfold. If children become frustrated, the donut can be moved to a plate to make eating it hands free easier.

2. Pin the nose on the pumpkin. Create a large pumpkin from orange poster board. Add the eyes and mouth using a black marker. Cut out triangles from black poster board, place double sided tape on the back and hand them out to the children. Let each child have a turn sticking the nose on the pumpkin. While younger children may simply enjoy adding the missing piece to the pumpkins face, older children may enjoy this activity while wearing a blindfold.

3. Decorate Halloween cookies. Bake sugar cookies in the shape of pumpkins. Provide frosting and sprinkles for the children to decorate their own cookie. This is a fun project that doubles as a festive treat. Children can decorate additional cookies, place them in a cellophane bag, tie them closed with ribbon and give them out as special gifts to family and friends.

4. Visit a farm. Consider incorporating the fall harvest theme into your not so scary celebration. Many farms have pumpkin patches for children to select their own pumpkins. Some even have petting zoos, hay rides, train rides and more. The natural and often colorful scenery at most farms makes the perfect backdrop for fall family photos.

5. Decorate pumpkins. While younger children may be too young to carve a pumpkin, they can certainly color, paint and add embellishments like stickers and sparkles. Yarn can be glued on for hair and felt can be used to create hats or other accessories.

6. Host a not so scary Halloween party. Incorporate games like Duck, Duck Pumpkin, read age appropriate Halloween themed books and decorate and snack on pumpkin shaped sugar cookies. Make costumes optional.

7. Hide the pumpkins. Cut out small pumpkins from orange poster board and decorate with black marker. Hide the pumpkins outdoors. Give each child a small bucket to collect all the pumpkins she can find. Give each child a turn at hiding the pumpkins.

8. Attend an alternate Halloween event. Many churches and community centers host free harvest celebrations geared towards the families in their communities. They often have games, activities, food and candy for kids of all ages to enjoy.

9. Organize a neighborhood trunk or treat. Create a theme and invite people you know to decorate their car trunks. Invite everyone over at a set time to park their cars in your driveway. Have the children go from trunk to trunk to collect individually wrapped candy. This allows you to have control over who your child collects candy from and what type of Halloween décor your child is exposed to. Another creative spin on this is to have family members decorate their bedroom doors and hand out candy to each other.

10. Create your own costumes. With a little non-toxic face paint, a bin of dress up clothes and a lot of creativity, you children can create a costume that perfectly suits their personality and level of spookiness they’re comfortable with. Have a parade and award prizes for different costumes. You can give prizes for the most colorful costume, the costume with the most sparkle and more to be sure that all children are recognized for the hard work they put into their costume selection and design.
With some careful thought, a little creativity and advance planning, you can create an age-appropriate Halloween celebration that your child can truly enjoy.

Dr. Caron Goode is a well-respected leader in the parent coaching industry as the founder of the Academy for Coaching Parents International (www.academyforcoachingparents.com) that trains students in the empowerment model of parent coaching, Dr. Goode has shared her holistic approach to achieving parenting success and managing family relationships in magazines, newspapers and radio. Her most recent books include The Art and Science of Coaching Parents and award-winning Raising Intuitive Children. (www.raisingintuitivechildren)

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach

http://www.everythingforadoption.com