Am I ‘The Mean Mom?’

Ok…it’s time to ask of your advice. Am I being the MEAN MOM here? This is what has been going on which has my teenage daughter telling me to ‘chill out’ and that I am so MEAN.

First, freshman daughter goes to a concert 45 min. away last night. Before she goes she tells me that her friend’s mom, who is driving there, will be staying with them and taking them home. Fine. However, this was not the other mom’s intention and she drops the 3 girls off there with the idea they will find a way home. Needless to say, I get called and at 8:30 have to drive the 45 min. to pick them up and then take the other two home. We get back home by 10:30 pm. I tell my daughter that plans have to be made ahead and can’t just plan one way rides with the idea I’ll always come to the rescue. (This has happened multiple times.) I told her next time she has plans I will need to talk to other parents before the plans begin. She thinks I am overreacting.

Then….this morning (Halloween) she informs me that she has invited 5 girls and 5-6 boys to come to our house to ‘hang-out’ for an hour or so before trick or treating. Then they will all go trick or treating together. I, personally, tend to think the bigger the crowd of teenagers together the greater the likelihood of dumb things happening. Again, she thinks I am overreacting. I ask her, “What will everyone do at our house?” She says they will sit downstairs in our rec room. (Right…teenagers just sitting and talking for an hour!) Then after trick or treating, what did she think they were all going to do? Come back, sit and eat candy. Hmm…my guess is they will need drinks and food also. Plus, I am thinking of the mess these kids seem to leave behind whenever she invited groups of kids over. I told her I needed advance notice of these things and don’t appreciate her just making plans for large amounts of kids to come to our house without asking me first. Again, she thinks I am being mean.

I do have a gripe with some of the parents of these kids also. There are certain parents who think they can drop their child off at their my house, I will look after them, feed them,etc. Then it is expected that I get them home by a designated time. Have things changed? When my older kids were young, if I took them to a friends’ home then I also picked them up later. I figure that is the least I can do if my kid got to hang out at their house for several hours. What do you think?

I did tell my daughter that only the girls could come over today and not the boys. She was a bit mad, but seemed to get over it. I know that girls can be a lot of drama and it only gets worse when boys are around.

Now I know she has plans to go to a movie with a boy she likes from school tomorrow. She told me it was a 7:30 pm movie…on a Sunday night. I am trying to get my daughter to think more about school work and less about her social plan. Seems I am losing an on-going battle here, doesn’t it? I told her she needs to change it to a matinee or no movie. We do not want her out late on a school night. Again…being mean?

So…those are the latest trials and tribulations we are having here at this house. Any advice? I know I have successfully raised 3 great boys but this ‘girl’ thing is driving me crazy!

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach
http://www.everythingforadoption.com

Am I being a Mean Mom?
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