How to Help New Adoptive Parents

So you know someone who has just adopted a child. They need to learn how to adjust to this child, to learn about the true personality of this child. The child needs to become attached to this new family.  It doesn’t happen immediately, even though it may appear it has. There are things you can do to help this family through this transition period.

During the transition, family and friends may feel a little left out. Grandparents, especially, may not be able to spend as much time with their new grandchild or dote on them as much as they would like. This is temporary. Remember: the goal is for the new child to securely attach to their parents. Once that happens, then you will be able to see them, take them on outings, babysit, etc. to your heart’s content! Until then, visits will need to be short.

If you want to help the new parents there are many things you can do:

· Make meals, package them in freezer containers, and deliver them to the new family

· Go grocery shopping and run errands

· Offer to clean the house, do the laundry, wash the car, mow the lawn, etc.

· Help address and stuff envelopes to mail out homecoming announcements.

· Be the contact person to share news and updates with other family and friends.

Be there for them if they need to talk or need support. It is an exciting time but usually overwhelming to both the child and the new family.

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach

Everything for Adoption

Embarrassing Parenting Moments

I am a mom of 5 kids.  All have very distinct personalities. I love them each for who they are. But as a mom, there have been times I have wanted to dig a big hole and crawl in it when my child has said or done embarrassing things.  The good news is that we are not alone in this department, but when these moments occur we tend to not be thinking of that.

Here are just a few of the things my kids have done that I laugh about now, but was probably stammering and red-faced at the moment.

My oldest son was always very serious and liked things to be correct in his mind.  One day at the local grocery store we saw a very large woman bending over in the Ice Cream freezer.  We were not getting the best view of this woman.  She was very large. My son, about 4, shouts to me in what seemed to be his loudest voice, “Mommy, that lady sure doesn’t need any more ice cream, does she?”  I tried to move quickly past the woman and act like I didn’t hear him.  However, he wanted an answer so proceeded to say it again…even louder…with a “I’m right, Mommy.  Right? She shouldn’t eat more ice cream.”  The lady then looked right at us and glared.  It was horrible.

Another time was at a boys baseball game.  It was very hot out and a big guy strolled by us with no shirt on…and was a very hairy guy. My son then exclaimed, “Look, a hairy monkey!”

I could go on and on.  I am hoping to hear some great stories from other parents on embarrassing moments they have had with their kids.

Parenting is fun….just keep saying this!

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach– Everything for Adoption