Goodbyes are Tough for this Mom

In response to an article with the same title in The News Sun in IL I wrote the author this response….

(Her 7 & 8 yr. old sons were gone for the week and she missed them…)

I had to smile when I read your article because as the mom of 4 boys and 1 girl, I now realize that those ‘goodbyes’ we have with our kids as they are growing up are just preparing us to that BIG day ….when we say goodbye to them at a faraway college and then drive home without them, knowing that our lives have forever changed.  Your boys may be 7 & 8 right now but I assure you it’ll feel like you turn around and you’re preparing them for college!  Did my kids return home?  Yes…but it was different.  They loved their independent life on campus…no checking in with Mom, eating and going when they wanted, etc.  They balked at the reminder of ‘rules’ at home and struggled with us in regards to obeying them. They no longer slipped into that ‘little boy mode’ where you were the boss and they were the kids.

I know you are enjoying your week of peace and quiet while silently missing your boys.  However, they will return home, your bathroom will be forever messy and your house will no longer be quiet.  You will sigh at the continual mess in the kitchen and your complaints will go unheard.  (Isn’t that what life as a Mom is all about?)

However, as I send my 18 yr. old off to Univ. of MO next month I know I will miss the dishes he leaves in the sink, his stuffed full dirty laundry basket he plops in the laundry room, and the laughter of teenage boys in our basement.  His bedroom at the end of the hall will sit quietly as a constant reminder to me that he is gone, living in a huge fraternity house with 60+ other boys (or young men!)  It is a right of passage, I know.  This summer he has only been home long enough to eat a meal once in awhile as he spends every waking moment at work or with his friends.  I think it is God’s way to prepare us for the time he’ll be spending away from us in college.

Driving home after leaving our oldest son at college a few years ago was hard.  I know I cried on and off the whole way home.  I missed him but was happy for him all at the same time. Life went on…I got used to it and learned to say goodbye to him a little better each time.

But now it is son #3 and I can’t even type this without my eyes welling up.  So I guess some things never change…especially for moms.  Here is a little video I made for his graduation…

Thanks for the article.

Debbie Mumm

The Adoption Coach

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