Living (?) with Teenagers

Well…I have lived with 3 teenage boys and survived…my youngest of these sons is now 19 and I hope the worst is over with my adventures with him. Now that we are into the world of ‘teenage girls’…a whole new world for us…we are learning that the world actually does revolve around her.
I have learned that when teenage boys get mad at us they tend to slam doors, punch walls, yell and then just give up. Girls, on the other hand, yell, try to bargain with us, pout, and use as much drama as they can until we give in to their needs. ( I have found that my daughter can do this on and off for days or weeks trying to get me to back down on what she wants.) It’s extremely tiring.
I do have a new appreciation for families with more than one girl. Wow! How do they do it?
Our daughter, now entering freshman year in High School, is a great kid…don’t get me wrong. She had a rough start in life living in orphanages and foster families in Russia until she was 10. However, she has quickly assumed the ‘Princess’ role in our home…thinking others will just do things for her all the time.
She loves to enter rooms and turn on all the lights. She will then leave the room with all the lights on…and this happens all day long. She loves being on the phone so it is not unusual to find all 3 of our home phones up in her room. She leaves a trail of wrappers and glasses of half drunk juice by the computer or TV since she likes to snack but ‘forgets’ to clean up. Her bedroom is a sea of clothes – all over the floor — yet she complains of nothing to wear. She manages to take over an hour to get ready to go places as she must try on different things multiple times and do her make up and hair to perfection.
She wants to have sleepovers on a daily basis in the summer where I can enjoy multiple teenage girls all doing the same annoying things! More food and clothes laying around the house with bursts of giggling or screaming coming from the bathroom where they take endless photos of themselves. Sigh…
Do I sound like I am complaining? Maybe. It is exhausting trying to keep up with the latest drama of friends, boys, clothes, whatever. It is hard to imagine that just 5 years ago she was living in a Russian orphanage and virtually had nothing. So now she may sometimes complain that her Dad and I are too strict and never let her have anything…but I know she really knows what it was like to have nothing…and this isn’t it.
The Russian judge at our Adoption court yelled at us that she would never be an American girl…she’d always be a Russian girl. Well, if he could see her now — this Russian girl sure acts like a normal American teenage girl!
So—God give me strength to make it through these upcoming high school years with a girl! It’ll be a whole new experience for us and I’m guessing somehow we’ll survive it!
Do you have teenage girl stories to share? Let me know. It’ll make me feel better to know I am not alone. Ha!

Deborah Mumm
The Adoption Coach
Everything for Adoption

Finding a Frog

Finding a Frog

Age 6 in Russia

Age 6 in Russia

4 responses to this post.

  1. What a wonderful thing you have done and what a testament to God and your parenting that she has adjusted so well and so quickly!


  2. Beautiful Young Lady! Would be from any culture. sounds as if she has learned to enjoy the best of her new family and culture. I’ll bet when the tough moments come; she will remember what it was like and do what is right when it counts. In the meantime; don;t forget to enjoy her ‘girlieness’ in the midst of all the work! I know what its like I raised 3 girls and 1 boy.


    • Posted by Alice Shaeffer on Sunday, July5, 2009 at 3:35 p07

      Hopefully she’ll be your best friend when older. A son is your son till he takes a wife is a pretty true statement I am finding out. You’ll be sooooo happy to have a daughter. She just has to go through this phase. Just love her a lot and she’ll hopefully make good choices and won’t want to disappoint you.


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