Find Your Family–New TV Show

I have mixed feelings about this new TV reality show, ‘Find Your Family’. Here is the Press Release explaining the theme of the show. Press Release

My daughter has expressed interest in seeing her birthparents again someday in Russia. We cannot afford this endeavor right now and frankly, I think she’d be very disappointed with the outcome. Reuniting with birthparents can sound exciting and heartwarming. But what if the parents are not happy to see their child again? What if the parents are living a desperate, poor life and are ill with alcoholism? This would not paint a pretty reunion picture. Maybe it’s better to have nicer thoughts of your birthparents, even if it’s not reality. What if an adoptive child decides to look for their birth parents and learns they don’t want to be found? What if one child in a family finds his/her birthfamily and has a happy reunion while another child learns they were abandoned with no hope of finding their birth family? (This is more common in an Int’l Adoption.) It’s that ‘rejection’ theme that comes back to haunt them.

Of course, there are birthparents out there that might bring happiness to their birth child by reuniting. I don’t want to second guess everything the adoptive parents did to raise this child though. I hope this TV show addresses the adoptive parents and family in a positive manner. Creating happy moments on TV are great but not at the expense of a family. If handled appropriately this show can be a wonderful message about the joys of adoption and of parenthood…on both sides of Adoption.

What are your thoughts about this type of reality show and it’s possible effects on adoptive families and adopted children?

Deborah Mumm
The Adoption Coach
Everything for Adoption


2 responses to this post.

  1. Speaking as someone who IS adopted, I can tell you that there are more than two sides to being adopted…the most important one being that of the adopted person themselves!!! This view is very often overlooked by fearful and insecure adoptive parents who are thinking of themselves for the most part. The show is of benefit to the ADOPTED child as far as having clear knowledge about WHERE they came from, good or bad, which seems to be every human beings’ basic right, EXCEPT for these children who have been given up at birth, for whatever reasons. If you have not been seperated from your mother and father at birth and given to complete strangers, you have NO IDEA what it feelsd like, or the impact that this has on a person, for a lifetime after. Due to the emotional decisions of the adults around these babies, their futures are decided upon, supposedly in their best interest by people who stand to gain by their placement elsewhere. It is true that sometimes it is in the best interest of the child, but not always. I have the feeling that more often than not it is the result of fear, insecurity and familial or social coersion as well as immaturity and confusion on the part of the new mother. These adoptions may or may not work out, but either way, if a person who has been adopted desires to know their history on this planet, they have the RIGHT to know. It has NOTHING to do with the natural parents OR the ADOPTIVE parents. It has everything to do with creating understanding and closure for the mystery that has surrounded the adopted person their whole life. Every person who goes through this process explains of a feeling that can only be described as a HOLE in their being that CANNOT be filled without the basic knowledge of WHERE they have come from.


  2. Posted by Jeannette Johnigan on Tuesday, December29, 2009 at 3:35 p12

    Not all adoptions are happy pictures either! Everyone should have the right to know where and whom they came from. I wish my adopted parents had left me where I was! My grandmother signed the papers and I hate her for it.


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