Losing a Child….


Heaven waits

Heaven Waits


I love being a Mom. I guess that’s why I share my thoughts and stories with you on this blog. We have happy times, funny times, and sad times as a family. But the hardest thing of all…for any parent…is to lose your child. Sometimes in the adoption process parents lose the child of their dreams to another parent or to an unkind judge in another country. It is devastating, but most parents pick themselves back up and continue with the adoption process to get the child that was intended for them.
Many couples in the adoption process have experienced the difficulty of infertility or the loss of a baby born way too soon. This is one of the major reasons they choose adoption. Their need for a child is so great, they decide to venture away from giving birth to a biological child towards adoption. And, soon, once that adoption is finalized, that child becomes their life…and it no longer matters that this child did not grow within them.
And, sometimes, we lose our children much earlier than we ever dreamed. In the past 3 weeks, 3 dear friends of mine have lost a young man in their lives. Each were in their early 30’s…each a father to wonderful young children. One was a brave young man who fought a brave battle with cancer. It was a long 10 months of pain but he was given time to prepare his family for his passing. When he left them, they were sad but knew he was ready to leave his world of pain. His young wife is so brave but knows she’ll miss her best friend forever. I know his mother grieves the loss of her son.
The other 2 young men were sons of my friends. Both died unexpectedly and suddenly. There was no time to talk to friends or family…or to tell them one last time they were loved. When my first friend’s son died, my other friend and I discussed how cruel it was to have a son taken from you without any notice or warning. We both felt that living in pain for months was not a great option, but agreed it gave loved ones time to deal with what was coming. We both opted for the selfish way out for ourselves,a quick death so we wouldn’t have to suffer. We both agreed that we should remember to take more time to tell our children how much we loved them, because we never know when our last day on earth will be. Little did we know that less than a week after discussing this, my 2nd friend would have her son taken from her in a dreadful accident.
3 young guys…all sons of moms who loved them dearly…fathers of small children who will not grow up with them…they touched the lives of many.
As my one friend shared….our lives are all on loan by God. Some are here for a long time, some just a short time. We don’t know when God will want each of our children back. So..although this is a pretty sad post, we need to live for the moment. Hug your kids. Tell them you love them and care about them…and tell them often. So- if and when that day arrives you will not feel bad about that. You will know that your child felt loved. You will know that child gave you hope and memories that no one can ever take away.
It is said that it is always difficult to out live your child, but some of us have this happen to us and we need to be strong. Hang onto the memories of that child and know that your child did make a difference by being in this world.
So for Kevin, Chad and Tony…I hope you guys are all having a party up in heaven as God’s newest Angels. You 3 may have never known each other before but there is a common circle of people on this earth that all care about your loved ones. We all look forward to meeting someday!

Always,
Deborah Mumm
Everything for Adoption

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One response to this post.

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    Reply

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