Posts Tagged ‘Family’

Letter to Mrs. Obama about Russian Adoptions


This is worth sharing…..A letter from an adoptive mother,Stacey DiBlasi Seeley‘s  on the Russian adoption ban

A few days ago thousands of Russian citizens marched in protest of their government’s new legislation banning adoptions to American families. There are more than 700,000 orphans in Russia; 120,000 of those eligible for adoption. Many of those children have families here in the United States wanting desperately to bring them home. I watched in amazement as these Russian individuals braved the cold weather and possible arrest to make a point. And then I looked at my son, who just six months ago lived in a Russian orphanage and thought: “Where is the fight on our side?” And so I reach out, the only way I know how and make an appeal to a mother’s heart:

Dear Mrs. Obama,

I am writing you today to ask for help with a concern that weighs so heavily on my heart. As I am sure you are aware, Russian President Vladimir Putin has signed a law that essentially ends inter country adoption between the United States and Russia. I could give you thousands of reasons why that legislation is cruel and unjust but instead I will give you just one: my child’s eyes.

I met my son Aleksandr at the age of 10 months in February of last year. I knew from the moment his eyes looked into mine, that he was indeed the child of my heart. This was not because his eyes sparkled with love and excitement but rather because they looked so uncertain. “Who are you?” those blue eyes said to me. And my soul answered: I am your mother. While other mother’s can look into their child’s eyes for the first time and say, “Welcome to the world Little One,” I understood that my little one already knew too much of this world’s chilling cruelty and I promised then and there to give him all the love and protection that a mother can give.

On August 4, 2012 we brought Aleks home at 15 months of age. He was quickly diagnosed as failure to thrive and he has global developmental delays but through amazing programs available through the state of Virginia and the excellent medical care and support of our military community, Aleks is flourishing and “catching up” to others in his age group! He loves pigs and horses, coconut yogurt and “Here Comes the Sun” by the Beatles. He leans in to give the sweetest kisses to his Momma and Daddy and the twinkle in his eyes (that was absent when we met him) lights up my world. I never imagined that my husband and I would have to travel halfway across the world three times to find our son. But I would do it again and again.

My family is a success story and a blessing thanks to cooperation between this great nation and Russia. But right now, mothers here in this country cry desperately because they are losing their child due to this legislation. A child who has the chance to know a mother’s love will be condemned to life in a less than adequate orphanage where he or she will not ever develop a sense of self worth or know the love of family. What if that was my son? Oh God, I don’t know how I would ever rest if my child were kept from me in those circumstances. And that is why I am writing to you today.

Please, Mrs. Obama, I beg you to speak with your husband on behalf of all the mothers stuck in this limbo, those who have officially started the adoption process, who have held their babies in their arms or have stared deep into the eyes of their child a half a world away. We respectfully ask that President Obama and Vice President Biden appeal to Mr. Putin from a humanitarian stand point and fight for the child’s right to be able to continue to know the mother’s love they had a glimpse of on that first meeting. We hope and pray for an agreement that allows the families who have already petitioned to adopt their child in Russia to be united as a family. What do we lose in trying?

Shared by…Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach, parent of 5 great kids- 2 of which were adopted from Russia. Everything for Adoption


Having Faith when Life gets Difficult

Hi All!
Sometimes I think God is constantly testing me to see if I really have faith in Him. I do believe I am a good Christian, but wonder why I have to keep proving it.

First…we adopt two kids from Russia and that process was more than most people would ever be able to endure. We get them home and then we have the rollercoaster of life…adjusting to these kids and their issues, finding schools, therapists,and more! We spent the last year getting help for our teenage daughter so she could learn to believe in herself and learn to make good choices in her life. It was rough, but now we are seeing a beautiful girl who is so much stronger because of the therapy we have committed her to.

Just when things were starting to look brighter, my youngest son’s school tells us they aren’t a good fit for him…and recommend home school! Home school? That would involve me…a lot….right? I searched all summer for a school that might be able to work with him. But, no…he is just too far behind academically.

Sitting at church last week the priest seemingly did his sermon just for me. Do we trust in God? Do we know we are not alone and that he is always there to help us? I actually listened intently as I pondered the thought of homeschooling. In my head I was screaming at the priest, “But I don’t want to homeschool him! I am scared I might do it all wrong!”

Then, amazingly, just as I thought these things a woman’s voice announced, “Please open your hymnals and sing, ‘Be not Afraid!”
I felt like standing up and saying, “Really? Can this be happening to me? I am afraid…how can I not be afraid?” As I sang the song with the rest of the church I became more calm and realized God was speaking to me at that moment. I needed to have faith and know that I need to teach my son this year.

Is it going to be easy? Probably not. But I do think God is giving me a chance to save this boy from going down the same path his sister did…feeling inadequate, stupid and thinking he can only be friends with kids who have problems.

And, the best part…I really am not alone. I have God. I have friends who have offered to help me. I am discovering a whole new world of homeschoolers who are willing to help me. I’ll be the first to tell you this isn’t going to be easy. But adoption was not easy. Being a parent is not easy. It is another challenge for me that will probably just make me stronger! (again!)
Do you think God will ever think I am strong enough now and quit throwing challenges my way? I don’t know. Maybe he thinks these things all make me a better person. And maybe it is.

I love my life, my husband, and my kids. So I guess I just have to keep my faith when life gets difficult. I am not alone.

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach
Everything for Adoption

Summertime Fun & Chaos

The 'Bean'

Last week my girlfriend from CA came to visit. This year she brought her two sisters since they had a Cousins Reunion in the Chicago area. I haven’t seen her sisters since we were kids but we all got along great! The fact that Kellen came home from his travels to Italy and Tatiana came home for a long weekend pass added to the Full House Syndrome! The kids slept in our basement to give the 3 ladies rooms of their own.

Each day we planned something. Here are a few of the things we did while our CA guests were here. We went to Navy Pier, Sears (Willis) Tower, Marriott Lincolnshire play, Blue Man Group, shopping in Long Grove and an afternoon on the beach of Lake Michigan…plus Alex’s baseball tournament where his team took a surprising 2nd place!

On Sunday, I took my friends to Glenview where their cousin picked them up for their trip to Midway Airport and then home. I then picked up my parents and brought them back to our house where the kids piled in the van and we headed north to visit Pam and Brandon in Ripon, WI. They had a BBQ in their yard with lots of food, sun and games. We went to the local fireworks at dusk, which were great except for the millions of mosquitos we had to fight off!

We spent the night there, had a late breakfast and then headed back home. It has taken a few days to wash sheets and towels…and a general clean up. However, it was worth the fun we all had together this past week. Tatiana headed back to school in NE…but had a fabulous weekend here! We are getting more excited about her returning home for good this fall.

Now I am enjoying the quiet and the slower pace as I am down to 2 kids under our roof. Kellen is working for Dennis’ office doing some needed painting in buildings. He is happy to have some summer income! Alex is having fun with friends and summer activities!

Some people may complain when having too much going on, but I know that my life will not always be like this and I truly love spending time with family and friends. So enjoy your summer. Do something you like with a friend. It will create memories that are worth the effort.
Have a happy summer!

Deborah Mumm
The Adoption Coach
Everything for Adoption


Losing a Child….

Heaven waits

Heaven Waits

I love being a Mom. I guess that’s why I share my thoughts and stories with you on this blog. We have happy times, funny times, and sad times as a family. But the hardest thing of all…for any parent…is to lose your child. Sometimes in the adoption process parents lose the child of their dreams to another parent or to an unkind judge in another country. It is devastating, but most parents pick themselves back up and continue with the adoption process to get the child that was intended for them.
Many couples in the adoption process have experienced the difficulty of infertility or the loss of a baby born way too soon. This is one of the major reasons they choose adoption. Their need for a child is so great, they decide to venture away from giving birth to a biological child towards adoption. And, soon, once that adoption is finalized, that child becomes their life…and it no longer matters that this child did not grow within them.
And, sometimes, we lose our children much earlier than we ever dreamed. In the past 3 weeks, 3 dear friends of mine have lost a young man in their lives. Each were in their early 30’s…each a father to wonderful young children. One was a brave young man who fought a brave battle with cancer. It was a long 10 months of pain but he was given time to prepare his family for his passing. When he left them, they were sad but knew he was ready to leave his world of pain. His young wife is so brave but knows she’ll miss her best friend forever. I know his mother grieves the loss of her son.
The other 2 young men were sons of my friends. Both died unexpectedly and suddenly. There was no time to talk to friends or family…or to tell them one last time they were loved. When my first friend’s son died, my other friend and I discussed how cruel it was to have a son taken from you without any notice or warning. We both felt that living in pain for months was not a great option, but agreed it gave loved ones time to deal with what was coming. We both opted for the selfish way out for ourselves,a quick death so we wouldn’t have to suffer. We both agreed that we should remember to take more time to tell our children how much we loved them, because we never know when our last day on earth will be. Little did we know that less than a week after discussing this, my 2nd friend would have her son taken from her in a dreadful accident.
3 young guys…all sons of moms who loved them dearly…fathers of small children who will not grow up with them…they touched the lives of many.
As my one friend shared….our lives are all on loan by God. Some are here for a long time, some just a short time. We don’t know when God will want each of our children back. So..although this is a pretty sad post, we need to live for the moment. Hug your kids. Tell them you love them and care about them…and tell them often. So- if and when that day arrives you will not feel bad about that. You will know that your child felt loved. You will know that child gave you hope and memories that no one can ever take away.
It is said that it is always difficult to out live your child, but some of us have this happen to us and we need to be strong. Hang onto the memories of that child and know that your child did make a difference by being in this world.
So for Kevin, Chad and Tony…I hope you guys are all having a party up in heaven as God’s newest Angels. You 3 may have never known each other before but there is a common circle of people on this earth that all care about your loved ones. We all look forward to meeting someday!

Deborah Mumm
Everything for Adoption

Ethiopian Adoption–is it right for you?


I just got an email from the director of Int’l Family Services, who does a lot of adoptions in Ethiopia. Here it is—

We have 8 little ones from Ethiopia going home soon. This program is amazing!!!! BUT WE NEED FAMILIES, even for infants!!!!! We have received word that many on our waiting list will have referrals any day, which is very exciting for all of us! But wow, it almost clears out our list completely! HELP! How do we let people know that these kids are so beautiful and so in need of loving homes? Please spread the word.

We continue to have a huge list of WAITING CHILDREN and we are still looking for a family for the 4 year old boy triplets!!! Anyone want half a basketball team?

Here is the description of the Ethiopian program — Please pass this onto anyone interested. Thanks!

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach…..

Adoption Poem

Here is a poem about adoption I thought you’d enjoy.

Legacy of an Adopted Child

Once there were two women…Who never knew each other…
One you do not remember…The other you call Mother…
Two different lives…Shaped to make you one…
One became your guiding star…The other became your sun…
The first one gave you life…The second taught you to live it…
The first gave you a need for love…The second was there to give it…
One gave you a nationality…The other gave you a name…
One gave you talent…The other gave you aim…
One gave you emotion…The other calmed your fears…
One saw your first sweet smile…The other dried your tears…
One sought for you a home…That she could not provide…
The other prayed for a child…And her hope was not denied…
And now you ask me through your tears…
The age-old question unanswered through the years…
Heredity or environment…Which are you a product of?…
Neither my darling, neither…Just two different kinds of Love…

… Author Unknown …

Want to see some great books on Adoption that I recommend?

Have a great day!
Debbie Mumm
The Adoption Coach

His Own Little Language

Shortly after we adopted Tania and Alex (ages 10 & 5) we realized that the ‘language thing’ is kind of a BIG thing initially.  Our kids were quite social and were always talking to us…like we understood Russian.  Most of the time I could kind of figure out what they were talking about because of their hand gestures or facial expressions.  Other times I just would say one phrase I did know in Russian –“I don’t understand”….and smile.

It was late summer when the kids arrived so every day we made the 4 block trek to the park, since they didn’t have any friends to play with yet and I had no clue what to do with them otherwise.  One day, as we walked along while Alex rode his big wheel he was talking at the top of his lungs (in Russian) very excitedly…probably about every little thing he saw along the way.  There was an older woman sitting on her porch watching us go by.  She commented to us, “Isn’t that cute?  It’s like he has his own little language!”

Dennis & I smiled at each other. Then I replied to her, “Actually, it is!  We like to call it Russian.”  Before we could say much more to her, Alex had sped off ahead of us so we ran down to path to catch up to him.  It was kind of funny!

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach