Posts Tagged ‘Russian orphan’

Where would my kids be if not Adopted?

Russian orphans

Well…it’s a sad day when Russian officials put a freeze on Americans adopting their children. And that day is today…with the hope they may change their mind on April 20th. Yes, some Americans have acted badly and done stupid things once they adopted Russian children. But thousands of children are adopted each year from Russia that now have happy lives. A life for a child in a Russian orphanage is not good. Only one out of 10 Russian orphans live to adulthood. Why is that? Abuse, poverty, lack of food & medicine, neglect are just a few of the things these children have to live with.

What if my kids were never adopted? I have thought of that. We adopted older kids–ages 5 and 10. Most people want babies and toddlers, so I am not surprised that the percentage of kids adopted from Russian orphanages after the age of 5 is 2%….that leaves 98% or orphaned children over age 5 with little hope of getting a family. My daughter did make a phone call to her old orphanage in Komsomolsk, Russia a few years ago to talk with her best friend, Larissa. Larissa cried when she heard Tania’s voice. She was sure she’d never hear from her again. They spoke, through a translator, since my daughter lost all her Russian quickly. Tania asked about all their other friends in the orphanage and most of them were not there anymore. They were now living on the streets…at age 12 and 13. How sad! And I think my daughter might have been one of those that would have left the orphanage. She said she had run away multiple times before we adopted her at age 10. No one ever came looking for her. No one really cared.

And Alex…my sweet Alex. He is so loving and caring for others. However, he is very small for an 11 year old. At age 8 they get moved into the older child orphanage. He would have had to fight and be strong for such a small kid with so many older ones around. He probably would have been abused by the older boys and I think would have fallen in with the bad crowd to survive there.
We have worked with Tania and Alex…to build up their self-esteem, to stand up for themselves and to not use anger as a tool to get what you want. They are becoming great kids.

Let’s pray that the Russian officials that make the decision to stop Americans from adopting go to a few orphanages this week and take a look around. Do these kids have a chance at a good life living there or by getting adopted? I hope they think past the times Americans have made mistakes as parents and look to the positive adoption stories that abound.

Here’s what came through on the news today…April 15th, 2010.

Russia, April 15, 2010:
During a press conference today, Russian Foreign Ministry spokesman Andrei Nesterenko stated that intercountry adoptions with the United States have been suspended until a bilateral agreement with the United States is signed.
At this time, the Ministry of Education (the ministry responsible for intercountry adoption) has not confirmed the suspension nor issued a statement. The MOE MUST confirm this statement for the suspension to be truly active.
A delegation from the U.S. Department of State, lead by Ambassador Michael Kirby, will travel to Moscow and conduct meetings with Russian officials on April 20, 2010.

Here is our adoption video….

Please share positive adoption stories on your blogs on YouTube…whatever! Thanks.

Deborah Mumm
Everything for Adoption

When I was 5—

Alex, adopted from Russia at age 5, will constantly refer to things that happened when he was small as “When I was 5”.  Example: “When I was 5 I didn’t like to wear my seat belt.”  However, when he was 5 in Russia he never had to wear a seat belt for 2 reasons…1-they don’t wear seat belts in Russia (they laughed at us when we struggled to put them on) and 2-Alex had never been in a car until we brought him home to the US.

“When I was 5 I didn’t like this kind of food.”   He probably didn’t have that food in Russia.

Actually, Alex’s life in America began at age 5.  His life with a family, friends, food, activities, etc., all began at age 5.  So we smile when we hear him say to his friends, “When I was 5….”  It’s where it all  began for him.  Before 5 was a confusing time, with not much order or sense to him.  Living in an orphanage he must have felt a little confused.

I know my heart almost broke when he asked me one day why we didn’t come to get him sooner.  He said, “Mom, I was waiting and waiting for you.”  How sad that a little boy should have to wonder where his Mom is and why she isn’t there for him.

How many millions of children are right now wishing their mom or dad would come and get them…take them out of that orphanage and bring them home?  Their lives would also change forever…just like Alex’s did.  When he was 5.

Deborah Mumm, The Adoption Coach

Everything for Adoption